Hear me out!

(Psst…if you just read the bold words you will get the gist without reading the whole thing, but if you want details and have the time…well they are there.)

I’ve been struggled with starting a blog.  Social media is already bombarded with antidotal publications on how to cope with parenting, what its like to be a (fill in the blank) kind of parent, funny parenting moments, and how to make the newest unicorn poop-slime-fidget spinner-whatchamacallit or the cool aunt, non-parent friend of parent, or hey maybe you’re human wondering why your friends who are parents just look so darn crazy.  But I think we are all missing something, and I think it’s kinda big…..an African Proverb “It takes a village to raise a child” suggests we are all parents in one way or another.  It is time that we all start living that way.

The Why

We are all doing this very hard thing we call parenthood–raising children, creating productive, kind human beings that will run our society one day without us as their safety net.  When it boils down to it and you get really heavy in the thought of it all then look around at today’s youth and think “What the Poppycock?!?!”  And everyone, and I mean EVERYONE needs to hear that they (well you) are not alone.  Whether you are a Gen X, Gen Y, Millennial, or part of the Micro Generation that somehow happened due to technology, maybe you’re a baby boomer raising your grandchildren because of heroine, pick your label as you will but you are in the parenting trenches (as mentioned before by choice or not).  Raising children these days is different than it ever was before.  You are all being given ideas, theories, suggestions, tried and true family secrets, advice, fluke things that have worked, bad research/fabricated publications, or maybe you’re just observing the monkey business from afar. Lets not forget that this doesn’t stop at a certain age.  There is no clocking out at 18 years old or whatever age you think “being grown” happens.  I mean do we ever think “Nah I don’t need a parent figure anymore?”  Lets exclude teenagers in this thinking for now.  The point is, It is ENTIRELY too much for one human (or two, or three, or four) to sort through while trying to do this thing we now call “adulting”.   Side note:  I believe my late Grandmother Kay would have communicated her thoughts on this adulting thing with a glance from the corner of her eye that in seconds spoke a paragraph that would have boiled down to “Stop the nonsense, get it together, and get it done because nobody is going to do it for you.”

The Who

I am not as expert, let me say that again, NOT AN EXPERT!  I am a play therapist, licensed independent social worker, wife, and mother of three.  This makes me a myriad of somethingness that doesn’t really have a name but in the simplest version I am this.  I have a Masters Degree in Social Work from University of Southern California (Fight On!).  I know and understand how to do research, I learned about how to be a social worker from one of the best schools in the nation.  Good research is key to understanding effective results.  I learned about family interactions, child development, therapeutic interventions, and cultural understanding.  The licensed independent social worker (LISW) part of my title tells insurance companies that I can bill for therapeutic services (counseling).  Registered Play Therapist is an interesting part of my title, and actually my proudest professionally.  I have learned and continue to learn ways to play with kids to help them resolve issues, emotional behaviors, family changes, and have a happier childhood (teenagers are kids too and lets be honest, some people over 18 years old fall into this category at times, myself included).

So now that you know about the fancy letters that follow my name, I’m hoping you will see that is just the foundation.  I am a mom, wife, sister, daughter, and anxiety survivor. I’m working on the thriver part of this.  I fall into the “Me too” category as many women do, but I am not a man hater.   I live with this challenge they call mental illness on a daily basis.  I personally hate the term mental illness and see them as more emotional challenges.  You also maybe familiar with these things.  So lets get this out of the way to begin with….I will not be using the words mental illness in any of my language from here out!  I do not pretend to understand everyones challenges or perspective due to socio-economic status, race, culture, and religion.  I do promise one thing.  What we all feel and experience is real!  This concept of “it is all in your head” is bull-shinanagins and it’s about time that we all start looking from another perspective to put real life in a more realistic view.  (Psycho-mumbojumbo calls this reframing).  I want to do all of this from a family perspective because I think that speaks to almost everyone.  Believe it or not you are likely (willingly or not) part of someone’s family.  (Back to the whole everyone is parenting thing again.)

Let’s do this

I wish I had some brilliant communications or marketing guru to give me a catchy slogan but here is what I really want to get at.  No matter where you are in life, stage of your years, ache in your heart, emotional obstacle, or place of peace you find yourself in; I hope we can help you take that next step of being an open-minded, supportive, genuinely good, human being.  Unless you are a sociopath, in that case, I hope they have genius people like on Criminal Minds looking for you.  But really, I will do research, I will share my knowledge, hopefully you will share yours too.  I want to help you understand why somethings work and why others don’t.  I will read the books and try to find the stuff that is real; and by real I mean if a trained therapist can’t pull it off in real life what is the likelihood most people can?  If you’ve read the book or wrote the book and know it works, I am all ears!  I have to be honest though, I am running into more people who are just finding a way to get by and I refuse to accept that this the best we can do!  So this is where we start I think.  I am learning just like everyone else, I just refuse to muddle through.  I truly believe every person is the expert on themselves IF, big IF there, you are willing to give anything a real shot.  Who’s with me?