Hello from the beach….well kind of at the beach.  So far I think I’ve logged in maybe 3 hours total this week because of my lack of tolerance of the heat.  In fact, this vacation has been vastly different than the many in my past.

In years past, with children or without children, I spent countless hours on the beach chatting with my family members, late nights playing various games, drinks, snacks, and laughs a plenty.  I attended vacations at my skinniest, very pregnant, as a baby and nearly every year I have been alive.  I have fond memories of playing with cousins and being spoiled by my aunts and uncles.  I have gotten to enjoy watching my own children have the same experiences and witnessed special bonds develop between generations.

This year I had to search hard for fun and happiness.  I spent one day in the ER with a migraine and PICC line dressing change.  I’ve struggled with my body image, seeing how I weigh more than the years I attended pregnant.  I have spent more time alone in my room hiding from the noise (aka fun) that agitates my headaches.  The heat and sun have chased me from the beach and being pool side.  I am not even able to lounge in the pool due to a recent lumbar puncture and following necessary blood patch.  People it has been rough!

I sound like I am complaining and ungrateful but I want to tell you I am not!  I love the fact that I have a family that works so hard to come together every single year to celebrate each other and our relationships.   I am so blessed that I have a mother, father, grandparents, aunts, uncles, sisters and brothers (in laws included) even nieces and nephews that have gone out of their way to help me make it through this week.  They have created special time for my children to do all the things I did when I was young.  They have prepared my food, done my dishes, and catered to my needs.  Everyone is always checking in on me, seeing if I need anything, or need help in any way.  They rejoiced with me when I was able to do things and provided support and compassion when I could not.

I was truly not looking forward to this week and I have many reasons to not be happy with what I have been able to do, but I have never felt so loved and blessed in my life than I have this week.  The only difference…..perspective.   People say it’s how you look at a situation that makes all the difference and this is so very true.  This is how you make your own happiness.  Look for the good and bask in its glow like the sun on a sandy beach.  I understand that the dark and hard parts of life can take over your thinking.  Trust me I could have gone there many times this week.  But I won’t let whatever this medical thing is defeat me; it will not steal my joy and it will never take a family vacation from me!

Find your happiness, it’s there, I promise.  I believe you can change your perspective and feel your emotions flip like a switch.  Don’t let dark thinking control you, soak up the sunshine and enjoy the love.

Until the next time….Peace.